Cuba through her bloggers' eyes - 8 Reasons you shouldn't go to Cuba

In stark contrast to the avalanche of articles that have recently been circulating around the web to list the Top 5, Top 10 or even Top 7 things to do in Cuba as well as the endless lists of reasons to visit it, I found a rather amusing twist to the whole subject of why anyone should consider going to Cuba when I came across a witty Cuban blogger's 8 Reasons You Shouldn't Go to Cuba.

Cuba through her bloggers' eyes - 8 Reasons you shouldn't go to Cuba

Unlike what the title might suggest the author’s not actually speaking about the country’s most criticised aspects, neither is she being harshly critical of Cuban customs or idiosyncrasy…

She’s not even lightly brushing the controversial subject of politics and human rights on the island either, she’s actually, and quite humorously, looking into the downside of some of Cuba’s most celebrated attractions and attributes, which may make you want to visit Cuba all the more after reading it in order to challenge her sarcastic spin-off. You may want to prove to yourself whether she’s right or wrong.

So, upon reading it I decided her great humour shouldn’t just be exclusive to a Spanish-speaking audience (her blog is written in Spanish) and that by translating I would be doing English readers a favour that would help them more accurately assess whether Cuba is right for you (or anyone) after all – once you consider these “negatives” you might change your mind or find it all the more oddly irresistible.

So, on a totally different note to USA Today, Conde Nast, CNN and even National Geographic’s Top Things to Do or See in Cuba, the humorous, sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek tone of Negra Cubana will be a refreshing read that might entice you to go to Cuba even more with a renewed keenness, whether that’s to prove her "reasons not to go" right or wrong.

As a Cuban myself I had to chuckle at each of her ironic points. But I won't bore you with any more of my comments, without further ado here you have it, Negra Cubana’s fully translated list of why no one should ever go to Cuba really…Really?

8 reasons no one should ever go to Cuba

  1. There's music everywhere!

    There’s music everywhere! And if you someone asks you to dance…you won’t be able to say no! Better save yourself the grief/embarrassment…

  2. People walk as though they're dancing!

    Whoa…those people walk as though they’re dancing! You could fall over and break a bone if you try to copy them. Safer to stay at home…

  3. Cubans are very touchy-feely and physically affectionate

    Cubans are very touchy-feely and physically affectionate. It can get sticky; we kiss, we hug and we invite you over to our house five minutes after meeting you. And we talk non-stop! That’s a far too cheerful and overwhelming intrusion, wouldn’t you agree?

  4. Fancy strolling down Havana's Malecon?

    Fancy strolling down Havana’s Malecon? That long concrete wall as the only thing that stands between you and the sea? What if a great big wave spills over and soaks you from head to foot? How will you find a hairdresser quick enough to dry your wet, unruly hair?

  5. Making the long journey to enjoy Callejon de Hammel's rumba sessions?

    Making the long journey to enjoy Callejon de Hammel’s rumba sessions? And then seeing everything from a tiny and squeezed viewpoint, that you managed to secure with luck, because this place gets so crowded? No, thank you very much! YouTube has dozens of videos of this place and it’s free to watch!

  6. You'll be terribly hot and hence be forced to many cold beers

    You’ll be terribly hot and hence be forced to many cold beers, Crystal most likely, and everyone knows the effect these have on expanding bellies …After all the hard work you’ve put in working so hard at the gym to fit into that skimpy bikini…how dare you flush your hard-earned money down the toilet like that?

  7. Old American cars

    And those old American cars don’t look so picturesque after you hear them noisily scrambling along…what’s the need for such scruffy, retrograde and clumsy transport when now you have cars that even do the parking for you.

  8. Get your hands on a Havana Club rum bottle

    And why fly miles and miles when you can get your hands on a Havana Club rum bottle at your local off licence down the road? That way you can make your own mojito, because “homemade” things have that added value... (and loving touch quality you simply can’t equate to actually being made an original one by a local expert)

Susana Corona

Susana Corona

The islands' go-between

Having lived most of my life between Cuba and the UK and being half-raised in both island nations, I...

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